Shy Shell Shelling

 In busy classrooms, shy children can be challenging, often you are met with a silent blank stare when reaching out to them. It can be tempting to move on to louder demanding classmates and other responsibilities but with proven strategies you can gently open their protective shells and find the hidden pearl. Development of intervention programs tailored to the needs of shy children can significantly improve their well-being at school.

Peer acceptance and support can lead to greater confidence in the classroom  Dr. Hay explains “Peer acceptance is associated with better psychological adjustment and educational achievement, programs that support early competence with peers will have implications for educational and mental-health policy.” We can support peer acceptance by facilitating student to student opportunities.

Pair Up

Basra a grade 6 student, whispered so quietly I had to lean in very close to hear her, was a talented writer. I paired her with Shelley who also loved writing. They encouraged one another and Shelley read Basra’s writing to the class. Eventually after a couple of months, the class begged Basra to read her own work. She bravely stood in front of the class and read her beautiful poem. The class erupted with cheers; the entire school heard.   After that Basra increasingly participated with an audible voice, having gained peer acceptance.

Group work

Group work offers shy children a voice in a smaller less threatening setting. It is important, in the beginning to combine similar students. It may be tempting to put gregarious children with quieter ones but in my experience the gregarious ones will dominate discussion and the quieter students will take refuge in their shell. When quiet children are grouped together it will give them a greater opportunity to participate.  You may need to facilitate and monitor discussion for continuity but with support the shell will slowly open revealing its beautiful pearl.

 

Build Confidence

 Listen

Not all students excel in some easily identifiable way. Those students require a different approach. They need to develop confidence.  Listen actively to establishing trust and rapport.  Holden was an extremely shy grade 2 boy, often hiding under his desk, feeling uncertain. I moved his desk very close mine to create a sense of safety. Over time I learned he had a very sick younger brother; his parents were often rushing to the hospital leaving Holden behind fearful with a babysitter. Allowing him to express his thought and gain trust he began to feel safer which led to interacting and improving academically. There are so many other similar stories of children going through difficulties. As teachers we can’t solve all problems but we can listen so children know they are valued, often that’s enough to remove barriers preventing success. There is an interaction of learning strategies and self-confidence in influencing student learning outcomes.

Invite for Success

When most students are squirming in their seats, hands up, bursting to answer choose a quiet student with positive inference: “I am choosing Sally because she’s having good manners.”. If Sally freezes under pressure instill confidence: “I’ll come back to you after you have a couple minutes to think?” or “ I know you know!” , if it’s applicable and true, or “It’s ok,  let me know when you’re ready.”. Offer multiple choice answers to encourage a response. Never say things to shame or humiliate like “Why don’t you ever speak?” or “What’s a matter the cat got your tongue?” or “Everyone else can answer, why can’t you?”

 

Shame, Shame, Shame on You

Shame on you if you shame a child. Shame is a real and potentially devastating emotion, impacting each of us at one time or another. A sense of worthlessness and an urge to hide or cover those feelings can harm the human psyche in ways researchers and psychologists are still uncovering.   Pressuring or shaming a shy student only pushes them further into their shells. Jonah was placed in a well-trained but inexperienced kindergarten teacher’s class. Frustrated she declared she had applied her cognitive training techniques and he did respond. He still was not speaking in class, so she began verbal reprimands. Jonah started crying and refusing to go class. Unfortunately, she dug in and refused to discuss other solutions. Jonah had to be removed and placed in an more experienced teacher’s class.

 

 

Anger and punishment when a shy child doesn’t respond is damaging. We need to understand the child is not being stubborn or rebellious, they just need more time. Jonah’s next kindergarten teacher, avowed the time and patience he needed to show his rumbling, roaring five-year-old self.

Shelling a shy child’s shell takes strategic planning, patience and support.  Facilitating peer support, instilling confidence through active listening, and safe supportive invitations can significantly improve wellbeing in the classroom and beyond.